When people see others that are “dedicated” to fitness, follow a training plan, say “no” to going out because they have to hit the gym….they are immediately labeled “obsessed”. While there can always be an unhealthy relationship with…..well basically anything….I have always found it interesting that “obsessed” is the first adjective that they are labeled with. If a person takes a vitamin everyday, are they obsessed? Drinks eight 8 ounce glasses of water, obsessed?
Again, don’t get me wrong…people can have an unhealthy relationship with “going to the gym”-in fact I was one of those people. My obsession, however, was not with “the gym”-my obsession was an eating disorder than cast a shadow over my entire life and propagated unhealthy relationships with anything or anyone I came into contact with. Why? Because an unhealthy person, in my opinion, is not capable of having healthy relationships.
I digress, now when I am viewed as “obsessed”…I just smirk and shake my head. In this video, https://youtu.be/3N7YvWpV6jA , I explain it. But in my blog, I wanted to write it out.
I train for freedom. Freedom from doubt, freedom from judgement, freedom for worry. Freedom from stress, dependence, and negativity.
When I started working out, you will notice the name fitness had in my life has evolved, I just wanted to hang out with my friends. I took a Group X class with two close friends at the time. Within on class, I was quickly addicted to the release. Within a few weeks, I was working through stress and fears during class, I had found myself crying during and after class-the kind of cathartic cry that we sometimes need.
As I evolved from a cardio bunny to a queen of the barbell, my purpose changed. From the minute my hand touched my 10 lb at home dumbbells, the game had changed. There was something so satisfying about hitting reps, sets and building myself through my own actions. But this in home action wasn’t going to be enough for me for much longer, I wanted to go into a gym…..I wanted to hit the big girl weights as I said.
I was scared shitless, there is no other way to say it. I didn’t know if what I had learned was correct, were people going to look at me? What was going to happen if I got stuck in a machine to something? These fears lingered for about 3.2 seconds because by this time to vulcan grip ED had on my life was released and I had found myself and my confidence. So I went. And I kept going…..until I developed myself into what I am today.
So when asked, “Why do you train?”. My response is always the same “I train for life”. The individual normally laughs because they take this as sarcasm or humor, after all I am known for this, but they misunderstand. Life is meant to be LIVED. It is about healthy relationships with people, it is about honoring yourself, it is about laughing, moving and having fun. In order to experience life, I need a healthy mind, a healthy heart and a healthy body.
My body is the only one I have, and I treated it terribly for over a decade. My heart and my mind were also victims of this treachery. As I recovered, healed and discovered who I was….I promised myself that I would never treat myself that way. I honor this commitment by taking care of what I feed my body, by building it through the barbell, sleeping, recovery and stretching. I honor this commitment by having full and beautiful relationships with people who deliver joy to my heart.
Why do I train? I train for life, my life. And I hope you find yourself and how your honor your life.