What the FUCK

Why do we judge pain and trauma differently?

Now that I have recovered from surgery, I feel like a vail has been lifted from my eyes. I feel brighter, I can function at a higher capacity and I feel like less of a burden on my loved ones. The physical response to the herniated disc and subsequent sciatica was far greater than I realized, what I mean to say is while I was “in it” I didn’t realize how my body was being affected. 10 weeks out, I am feeling my body move in a whole new way which makes me believe this injury was very old and very progressive. When I went for surgery, everyone was really supportive–friends checked in on me and asked if there was anything they could do to help. There is only one other time in my life that I felt the vail lift up, and that is after I went to counseling.

In stark contrast to physical pain, people seemed to be ashamed of emotional/mental trauma. We are ashamed to say we have feelings of hurt and pain, we are more ashamed to say we are getting help, and we are far less likely to be open about recovery. We keep this so close to the vest-scared of being judged and scared that people will think less of us. It really saddens me that so many people never take the opportunity to speak with a mental health counselor and work through issues or early trauma that may be affecting them today.

I find it pretty hard to believe that there is a 100% firmly adjusted adult out there with nothing from their childhood impacting them in some way. I think people are scared that going to counseling means you are saying you weren’t bought up well or you had bad parents – but that is really not always the case.

If you think about it, you process your emotions at the age you are in- but you hold onto what you learned. If something happened to you when you were 12, lets say you missed the winning catch and touchdown of the championship game, shortly after that your parents divorce. When you are 12, you may see your failure as having some impact on that. As you grow up, consciously you may realize that your parents had bigger issues, but subconsciously you may have a fear of abandonment which affects your relationships Β or even lack self confidence which affects your career or otherwise.

Pardon my ramblings, but having been through a emotional type of pain and trauma and now a physical one, it really got me thinking as to how we as a society treat the two so differently. But moreover, how we need to adapt to a level of compassion and support for emotional and mental recovery just as we do with physical


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